THERAPY SERVICES FOR CHILDREN AND PARENTS

GENDER IDENTITY AND EXPRESSION FOR YOUNG PEOPLE

Supporting Children and Families Through Gender Identity Exploration

If your elementary-aged child is questioning their gender, has shared something with you that you weren't expecting, or is showing you in a hundred small ways that something is shifting — you don't have to figure this out alone, and you don't have to figure it out before reaching out.

Shannon Wilkowski, LMFT, and Katie Yvanovich, AMFT, work with children and parents navigating gender identity and self-expression. They support kids in understanding their own feelings and finding language for who they are, and they work alongside parents who are trying to love their child well while sitting with their own questions, worries, hopes, and grief for the future they had imagined. Both can be present in the room at once — that's often where the real work happens.

Family Matters is an affirming practice. We don't offer conversion therapy or "watchful waiting" framed as neutrality. We follow the affirming care model used by the gender clinics at Stanford Children's Health and Kaiser Permanente, and we coordinate with those teams when families are working with them. For families who aren't connected to a gender clinic and aren't sure whether they need to be, that's a conversation Shannon and Katie can help you think through.

If you're a parent wondering whether it's "too early" to bring your child in, it isn't. Reach out to Shannon or Katie directly, or call the office and we'll help you find the right fit.

Kids and Counseling

A child comes into the world without the capacity to regulate herself; she relies upon caring adults to care for her and help her brain learn to soothe herself and avoid trouble. Despite the best efforts of competent parents, children often benefit from working with someone outside the family to help them learn new skills and work through troubling situations. Our staff are here to help children as well as teens learn more effective coping skills and process difficult parts of life.

Therapy for Children

This play therapy house is a tool used by therapists to help children express about their family.

How does therapy for children work?

While adults can use their brains to talk through their thoughts and feelings, children often need to process their experiences in a different way -- through play. Child therapists utilize the metaphors of play to help a young person express their anger, sadness, jealousy and fears one step removed from reality. Being able to explain how the solider must be brave in the face of uncertainty is much safer than asking a child to describe their own experience. Our therapists are trained to operate in this realm to help children progress through difficult situations.

What is the role of parents in play therapy?

Parents are essential in this process. As children often can't or don't understand or express the full truth, our child therapists work closely with parents to help appreciate the circumstances in which the child is operating. Additionally, the parent is a crucial ally in helping the therapist coach the child to see from a different perspective. Parents are instrumental in carrying out those lessons in daily life. As such, we meet with parents every few weeks to collaborate.

The importance of male therapist for boys

Boys often have a particular need to see themselves reflected back through a male therapist. How does a boy express his sensitivity, vulnerability alongside his need to be strong and active? A male therapist often works wonders to help a boy learn to work through his developmental obstacles. We have two men on staff who work with children to assist in this process.

Scheduling times are limited

There are a limited number of spaces available after school for children to see our play therapists. On your voice or email message, please indicate that you are interested in play therapy for your son or daughter. We hope to be able to assist you.

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Therapy for Teens

Adolescents Greatly Benefit from Therapy

Adolescence is a time of great growth, though with great turmoil -- for both the youngster and their parents! From a developmental perspective, the teen is supposed to explore their identity by connecting with peers and "trying on" versions of themselves. They are pulled to take risks, in part because their rational prefrontal cortex is not fully developed until the mid-twenties. With so many changes and so much to learn, most adolescents would benefit from having someone outside their family with whom to process their growth experiences.

Unfortunately many teens experience times when they feel overwhelmed by their thoughts and feelings. Many teens metaphorically wrestle with depression, anxiety, stress, and challenges as they as themselves important questions about belonging, the meaning of their lives, and how to move from their childhood into adulthood.

Our team of therapists has experience and techniques to work with your son or daughter through their time of growth.

Family Matters therapists meet with parents regularly when working with teens. Our philosophy is that parents must be included if we are to support the teenager; parents are the most important figure in their child's life, especially during this stage of life.

A woman talks with a child with his arms crossed, as if there is something painful to talk about.

Talking with children